There and Back Again: A Bag's Tale

I was aware of theft in Shanghai, mostly in that vague "not going to happen to me" kind of way. I fact I kind of expected one of us to get our pockets picked at some point on the trip. There is simply to much pick pocketing for me to think we would all get away without a problem. What I didn't expect was what happened to me Saturday as I was walking down Nanjing Lu with Lillian.

This week and last week is the Shanghai International Literature Festival. I was supposed to go see James Fallows speak on Saturday afternoon. Lillian and I wanted to go to another presentation on Sunday so we decided to go early to buy tickets. We took the metro to the Nanjing Dong Lu exit and decided to walk the rest of the way to the venue which was on the Bund. We were walking and talking. I honestly cant remember about what when my bag got yanked out of my hand. At first I thought it had caught on one of the way too many people we were walking with and had just been tugged out of my grip, but then I turned around and saw a man sprinting away holding my bag...


I shouted at the top of my lungs. Unfortunately I used English. Shock tends to snap you back into the language you know the best. But I got peoples attention anyway. There was a lot of pointing and honking but he managed to dodge around the corner without anyone stopping him. I made a rather feeble attempt to run after him, but high heeled boots are just not conducive to effective pursuit of robbery suspects.


I have heard tons of stories about how the Chinese love to stand by and watch a disaster occur, but never go out of their way to do anything. This didn't happen to me at all. I was actually shocked by how helpful pretty much everyone within a square block was. Immediately a younger couple came up and asked if I needed to use their phone to call the police. I ended up using Lillian's cell, but the couple stayed to make sure that I knew the right emergency numbers and that I could communicate what I needed to. And when the police arrived a huge group of people stayed to tell what they had seen and see if I needed any help.

So speaking of the police I am incredibly repressed with their response time. Almost immediately after I called there were four police cars, two motorcycles, and, no joke,a troop of the national guard in full uniform running around.

On the down side my attempt at calling 110 (think 911 but only for police, there are different numbers for fire or paramedics) was, frankly, a disaster. I started off by asking for English. HUGE MISTAKE! I thought that if they had an English speaker everything would be communicated far more clearly and quickly then if I tried to use my pretty-fluent-but-still-kind-of-sketchy Chinese. WRONG! What did asking for English get me. It got me two Chinese cops and an English translator on speaker phone. Did I mention that my pretty-fluent-but-still-kind-of-sketchy Chinese was WAY better than the translators English, but she had been requested, so...

Finally I pretty much got the major events across and by then the police were there, so I gave up on the phone and went for the face to face communication. After the police men had seen that the rather large amount of human resources had been correctly allocated they asked if they could take me back to the police station for a full report.

BUREAUCRACY HHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But let's start with how we got to the police station. They offered to give us a ride in the back of the police van. Note to self: NEVERNEVERNEVERNEVER get arrested in China. Did I say Never? There was a bench back there for Lillian and I directly facing the CAGE where the criminals went. Not kidding. There was a cage in the back of the van. We eventually got to the police station.

Life Goals:

1. graduate high school (check)
2. move to another country (check)
3. learn a new language (check)
4. make new friends (check)
5. give a police report in Chinese (check) Four times (check)

We got to the police station (Lillian was still with me) Only to find that a man from the street had come to make sure that we told the police everything that needed to be told. He was the only thing in the whole situation that nearly made me lose it. At first I was grateful, but then I changed my mind. He ended up alternating between telling the police what happened and shaking his finger at me while informing me, in mandarin with an incredibly thick shanghai accent, that this was my fault because I didn't scream loud enough. Apparently if I had screamed loud enough people like him who were standing across the street would have heard and leaped to the rescue, thus detaining the robber. That really didn't make sense to me at the time, because clearly he had to have heard me, since he turned and saw the whole thing... Oh well. I probably shouldn't have confronted him, but the fourth time he told me this I switched from quietly saying I understand to in forming him that I had indeed called out quited loudly seeing as the entire street had stopped what it was doing. That didn't really make an impression on him, so he just went to tell the guy behind us in line that I had been robbed and that it was my fault because I didn't yell... It was what the Chinese call a 没有办法 (mei you ban fa) moment. Meaning essentially there is no help for it.

Then it was my turn to give my police report. Despite this being one of the police stations of the largest tourist area in Shanghai there were no English speakers to be found in the station so I was left to my own devices. I guess the good that came out of this is a new found confidence in my Chinese. Before this I thought that my Chinese had improved a lot, and that it might even be getting good. After the three and a half hours I spent explaining myself to four different police officers I know that my Chinese is now, in fact, quite good if not beautiful or fluent.

First one cop asked to write out my statement. The whole thing was a bit comical, because when I handed them my statement, written in English of course, they all kind of gathered around and stared at it before photocopying it 8 or 10 times and then dismissing it as useless.

Next came the second cop. He was a younger cop and clearly wanted to be doing bigger and better things. I almost kicked him before deciding that I did not want to commit a felony in China and pasting a smile on my face. I figured that because I understood and answered 9 out of 10 of the questions in he asked in extremely rapid Chinese using a language that I had studied for 6 months that I was doing pretty well and that I probably deserved some mild respect if not a little praise. He disagreed. He found the fact that I did not immediately recognize the word sidewalk to be a particularly egregious offense. At one point Lillian and I ended up acting out the robbery in the middle of the police station, much to the amusement of the other man waiting. (as a side note, I feel terrible for the man waiting. Whatever he needed done, it wasn't his day.)

He then proceeded to ask me about the contents of my bag. First he asked about the bag and how much it cost. I told him that it was red leather and that I had bought it for a hundred. He asked American dollars or RMB. I told him RMB and he looked at me then shook his had and grumbled "fake" I almost cracked up. My bag had been ripped off my shoulder in the middle of the most famous street in Shanghai and the cop was worried that it wasn't legitimate.

We then went painstakingly through all the contents of my bag. At the time I thought that the thief was pretty much the least lucky thief of all time. I had never left the house with fewer valuables. I was actually on the way to the bank when he ripped off my bag. I had 100 RMB or roughly 15 dollars, my pone, and my keys. It was the keys I was most upset about because I knew that my host family would need to change the locks.

I was incredibly lucky that Lillian was there. We have the same phone and essentially the same thing in our wallets, down to the same bank's ATM card. It was incredibly useful to be able to show the police everything that I was talking about.

That officer finally went off to do whatever he was going to do and was replaced by another cop who typed the police report in Chinese into the computer while asking me periodic questions.

They then realized that computer A was not hooked up to the printer today... Neither was there a USB key to be found.

I was then handed over to officer number 4 who typed my report again. This time into computer B from which it was printed, photocopied ten more times, and presented to me to sign. I signed my statement, and then they handed me all the Chinese documentation. I know you aren't supposed to sign documents that you can't read. I could read most of the police reports and they had given up on my English name and typed them all under my Chinese name which isn't legal anyway. So I printed my name and hoped that if it ever became an issue someone would differentiate between printing and cursive.

3 1/2 hours later we were finally set free. Our first step: Go get some ice cream.

I feel pretty bad. I didn't have a phone anymore so we gave the police Lillian's number in case they needed to contact me. Lillian speaks no Chinese. They wanted to contact me. Frequently.

My host family did change all the locks (we have two front doors) but there was a problem with one of the locks so my host dad locked me in Sunday morning and went to get a new one. The doorbell rang, and who was it but Lillian? So we got to talk through the door as she explained that the police wanted to talk to me and I explained that I couldn't get out of the house...

Things proceeded in that vein. In the middle of class on Monday the girl behind me tapped me on the back. I looked behind me and she pointed at the girl next to her who pointed to the next person who pointed forming a line to the girl next to the window. Lillian was waving through the window pointing at her phone. (the police wanted to know how much money was on my sim card...)

The biggest problem was my host family, which I saw coming the minute I got robbed. I guess nothing like that has happened before... They expect pickpockets but the whole purse snatching in the middle of the day on a busy street is new... Thus: MAJOR PARANOIA!!!!!!! They tried to impose a curfew which they blamed on the economic crisis because poor people are coming to the city and stealing. For a while I was close to coming unglued because every time I saw my host dad I got a new safety lecture: "if you leave the house and one of us is home don't bring your keys... Never bring anything important out of the house... Never walk to MOB (the gym) alone... Do not carry money... there are evil people here from the country due to the economic crisis, they have weapons... You are a girl thus you will die... Don't put your computer on the bed, the house will burn down!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We are pretty much over it at this point. I promised my host dad that whenever I leave the house I will give him the address of my destination and that if I get in a taxi I will text him the company and the taxi number... A little over the top perhaps, but better than the curfew.

On Tuesday one of my host mom's work mates got her backpack ripped off in the middle of a train station in the afternoon. I have to say that my first thought on hearing that was not "oh the poor woman, I know what that feels like." but "Couldn't she have waited?"

However, I did title this blog There and Back Again. So to finish the story.

Wednesday night I open my email. In my inbox is an email from a guy I met once at a party a long time ago. The email read as follows:

Hi Zoe,

Long time no see u , I wander if you can remember who I am, we met each other four months ago on the party arranged by TOP MANDARIN at kouler center Nanjing road, and I have given you my name card then.

The day before yesterday, someone called me that they have found your stolen bag with all your identity cards, I have been tried several times to contact you by your mobilephone number but failed, I think you must be worried about them and anxious to look for them.

If you see this letter, pls call me anytime without hesitation.

Yep. I quite litterally fell off my chair. I then ran to ask my host parents for the phone. They flipped. My host father decided that he was a part of a murderous scheme to get our adress and refused to let me use the house phone. He then called the guy using his cell phone and put his through his very best lawyer complete interrigation at full yell, during which he frequently told the guy that he did not trust him and that he was a lawyer.

If I was the man I would never do anyone a good service ever again. I would be way too afraid. Finally my Host Dad figured out that this poor guy was just trying to help and did not want to kill us all and appologized once or twice then hung up.

It turns out that the theif had ditched my bag in the bathroom of a restaurant just off Nanjing Lu. We wen't to the restaurant to pick up my bag. I had put the guy's card in my wallet all those months ago and forgotten about along with about a dozen other cards along with my host Dad's and CIEEs, but the restaurant saw fit to just call him.

This was officially the wierdest robbery conducted by the wierdest/nicest? robber EVER! My bag was essentially intact. All the cards in my wallet had been taken out and then replaced in my wallet in a different order. The 100 RMB was still in my wallet. My keys were still there (which I was highly appreciative of since the key to my bike lock was attatched and I was trying to figure out how to get someone to take the lock off without thinking I was stealing a bike) as was the ticket to the James Fallows talk that I had never quite made it to.

The only thing missing was my cell phone. However when I looked through all the pockets in my bag it turns out that the thief had taken my sim card out of my phone and put that back in the special sipped pocket. So although I have to get a new phone, I even get to keep my number. I was quite upset about loosing that because that would mean loosing quite a few chinese friends. I don't have their numbers anymore, but they will eventually call me.

So I have everything back but my phone. And frankly:

I AM CONFUSED

Until next time.